Is Foreplay the Missing Part in your Relationship?

 

The other day, I was reading a paper on mental disorders, and it explained how coming decade we will be seeing an epidemic of medical health disorders.

I believe, in terms of mental health what we are facing today is only a tip of an iceberg. 

To understand the basics of this iceberg, we need to have a closer look.

How do you define a RELATIONSHIP? In simple words ‘the way in which one or more objects or people are connected, or the state of being connected.’ 

Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest or any other similar social media is showing off so many great relationships and yet we have so many people living with mental disorders, yet we are not able to connect with people who die of loneliness or lack of relationship, yet we are not able to raise children who can empathize, so what the hell is going on with so-called relationships that we see. As soon as I login to any social media, unhealthy posts about relationships are thrown on to my face like one slap after another. Many of us believe that as we get older, number of relationships matter more than one meaningful relationship. To be honest the society and country I live in, I see, these days most adults rush into avoidant forms of relationships with lots of boundary issues to fulfill their pressing temporary needs or may be imaginary selfish safety needs that they want to fill in old age. Not to forget these have grave ramifications for society, forgets the individual aspects. I am not against people living together but people who want to live close just because they can leach onto others for their own needs is simply a selfish act. Well, this type of insecurity issues and desperateness which creates only dysfunctional relationships remain altogether a diverse topic which is out of course for this post.

I feel I am lucky enough to have parents who never put strain on relationships for survival or their own neediness. I believe bond or relationship can be with anything that you surround yourself with whether its physically or mentally or both ways. It can be between a simple stuff toy and a baby who likes to carry that stuff toy everywhere she went. It gives that child a safety, familiarity, and control over her life. Or it can be with your favorite coffee mug that you don’t want to share with anyone, be it your partner…therefore do you see where I am getting at…bear with me for few more minutes and you will be amazed what you really discover about yourself. Have you constantly pondered on how some people are so good with their intuition? Or some people are exceptional with compassion and even your dog cherishes them like love at first sight. 

They bond in such a way that it nurtures each other, compassionate love. Want to uncover the truth? The one that is eternal truth which is surrounding us all the time, it’s merely that we choose to ignore it like your brain choose to ignore your nose? Well remember, that your brain does know you have a nose on your face it just ignoring it as to focus on other stuff which are more important for survival at the moment. The greatest living lie society has created is separateness. One way or the otherway all are connected to each other. At this point, I am not talking about the individuality. Rather we are living individuals because we are connected to each other, not via wifi or the internet. It’s on much deeper level.

Some can define it via physical level e.g., there are many bacteria livings in our gut, many fungi living on our skin but since it’s a symbiotic relationship we are not bothered, and it is balanced out and not to forget our existence essentially depends on it. Yes, our existence! Next time you take sporolac powder for the stomach upset remind yourself itis nothing but bacteria you need. Not everything we perceive is the only truth that exists, rather at deeper level, at microscopic, many symbiotic relationships form the basis of our existence. Primarily, connection with surrounding starts with the moment we are born. Did not ring a bell? Have you seen a baby or a toddler which you might think like a clingy human? Look around what is surrounding you. That chair or bed or car you are sitting on/in. You must have chosen it for some reason, again the phone you use, the clothes you are wearing that shoe or slipper you have choose to put on today. Those specific plants you have chosen to put inside your home, your room, in your balcony. That soap, face wash, that pen and shirt even though you consider so many other options, why? Well, you can say may be for some at that moment you did not exercise choice but what about your car and your coffee mug, have not you chosen those after so many calculations? You have invested so much thought about that or may be its love at first sight. Yes, definitely! So, since you are born, you are making a connection sort of, a relationship which we form with things which surround the other way or us around. It likes writing a piece by piece of your life, with your choice but without knowing that we carry all these relationships till we die. Some people talk these relationships in forms of emotions like they feel ‘powerful’ when they drive a particular car, feel ‘loving’ when gift flowers to their partner. It likes we always busy in making relationships may be with a person, or a car or a flower constantly making or breaking relationship. It is like a continuous journey about us engaging in so many relationships till we gather our last breath. We are born with inherent connections with nature. It’s in our DNA and if we try to oppose it then the disorder shows up in our behavior.

 

Have you constantly pondered why it is therefore reasonable for us or inherent for us to make relationships and it happens till we die? Why are we constantly searching for that connection? In every message, every page of that book you are reading, every movie, every fight, every conversation. Because these relationships are for every living thing in nature. It’s in our DNA. Forest, ocean they all live in one symbiotic relationship with each other. I take an example of Mushrooms and fungi... They are everywhere, with living, with dead and even with nonliving, also they are of every size ranging from microscopic to gigantic ones, ranging from poisonous to healthy nutritious and healer mushrooms and not to forget some are psychedelic too. They are microscopically in contact with each other with the small mesh network, and that makes them omnipotent, so powerful that they are here on earth as ancient as you can go back to BIG BANG and mushrooms are still flourishing, that you can check with any bread mold. I will not be surprised to know when Space-X will discover fungi or mushrooms in space. Thoughts to PONDER… How many of us are conscious of this pattern? How many of us consciously make connections or relationships? Or are you merely puzzled for another step to complete, without completely following the process of foreplay? I know, this is not the end of this topic as I will further explore the role of us as humans for the constant search for relationships. Just to be clear, it’s not about relationships, its more about how much we are conscious are of this process which I call as foreplay, a necessity? Think about it … Conceivably you can start with the relationship or bond you have with the chair you sit and complete your work every day!